When apologies are never part of the equation, it’s a selfish relationship that’s going to suck the life out of you.
Some people are lucky enough to be in stable and healthy relationships that are built on trust and mutual understanding. These relationships are nurturing and positive; they allow for lots of growth and development for the people involved both as individuals and as a couple. However, there are also the unlucky ones. Some aren’t lucky enough to find anyone to get into a relationship with. Others, while they do manage to get into relationships, end up getting involved in toxic and selfish romantic partnerships. The latter group of people will be the subjects for this article.
Relationships that are built on faulty foundations of selfishness and pride can make for very traumatic social experiences. These relationships can emotionally scar people and these scars remain for an entire lifetime. It takes a lot of work to make even the healthiest of relationships work; think about the amount of effort you have to put into toxic relationships. Things can get messy in these kinds of relationships.
Fights and disagreements can lead to bitter feelings and high levels of resentment. It’s essential if you find yourself in a relationship like this, you are able to spot the signs early on so you can make the necessary adjustments. Either prepare yourself for an emotional whirlwind or just get out before all the chaos ensues. There are signs that can indicate whether you’re part of a nurturing and loving relationship, and there are also signs that indicate you are not.
Here are 4 basic characteristics of a relationship that is built on selfishness and pride:
1. Your partner is overly competitive and insecure.
There’s a difference between having a partner who is driven and a partner who is just unnecessarily competitive about everything. If you feel like your partner is acting more like a competitor than a team-mate, then that’s a clear indication of insecurity. You never want a partner who is constantly trying to be better than you at everything just for the sake of it. You want a partner who is driven and is goal-oriented. Stay away from partners who treat everything like a competition. A relationship should be a partnership where it’s the both of you against the world; not the both of you against each other. A healthy relationship is when each partner realizes that the victory of one is also the victory of the other. You always want to be pushing each other up, not keeping each other down.
2. Your partner always prioritizes his/her needs over your own.
This is essentially the epitome of selfishness. When your partner is perennially refusing to make compromises, then that is an indication of a selfish partner. In a healthy and loving relationship, both parties should be willing to concede some of their desires to favor the other. It’s always going to have to be a give-and-take dynamic in order for things to work. As clich as it sounds, love is a two-way street and when you refuse to recognize that, then things aren’t going to end well. It’s almost guaranteed that selfish relationships will never get that coveted happy ending. You have to understand each other’s needs as individuals, and you have to be ready to make some compromises every now and then.В – Continue reading on the next page
3. Your partner constantly makes you feel worthless and pathetic.
There’s a difference between offering constructive criticism to help your partner become a better person, and just plain insulting a person to put him/her down. No one should ever have to endure pointless criticism. No one should ever be at the receiving end of senseless insults and hateful gestures. Every human being has to maintain a sense of self-worth and dignity. If your partner fails to boost you up in times of difficulty, then what’s the point of being in a relationship? Each of you needs to serve as a pedestal for the other. You need to always wish for the best for each other. You can’t afford to put each other down when one is feeling particularly vulnerable. If you want your relationship to work, you have to treat each other with basic human decency and respect.
4. Apologies are never part of the equation.
The most common characteristic of a selfish relationship is when no apologies are ever muttered. Selfish people never take accountability for their faults and are always looking to pass the blame on to someone else. If you and your partner don’t know how to say sorry when you do wrong, then you’re relationship is doomed from the start. The best kinds of relationships are composed of individuals who can acknowledge their own faults and are willing to work at getting better. When you refuse to take accountability for your actions, it means you have no regard for the people who are around you. It shows that you only think about yourself and how you feel at any particular moment.
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Are you in a selfish relationship? Talk to me about it in the comments below!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé