Being in three fairly long relationships, I have come to the conclusion that no one person can be treated similar to the other.В The things I thought ruined my first relationship were not a problem in the second. The learnings I had from my second relationship only worked 50%. So, I have come to the conclusion that you cannot always apply your learnings from your past to your present.В At times, you just have to learn from your present and work on it, there and then, to save it.В After observing many relationships and a few of my own, I learned that every person requires different kind of attention or a reaction from their partners. You have to judge your partner and understand what they require from you so you can give your partner that much.В Here are the five main kinds of people and the kinds of reactions they need from their partners.
5. THE ONE WHO LOVES SURPRISES
We all love surprises!В There is no denying that but there are some people who like to be surprised every now and then. It makes them feel special. Like for some people having a soulful chat would mean more than a surprise or a gift.В I do not mean for either one to be a better choice, it’s just how people are. Everyone is different in their own way and they deserve to be cherished like that.В So if your partner is the kind who is a sucker for gifts and surprises, you can get them something they have been wanting for a long time.В You can also surprise them with a home cooked candle-lit dinner so you both can spend some one-on-one time.
4. THE ONE WHO JUST WANTS AN HONEST ANSWER
Some partners just want a straight and simple answer to the whole argument.В Though it might hurt you or them to speak the truth but that is all they want.В They aren’t the kind who would be able to forgo things just because you brought them a gift or apologised. These are the people who need reasoning.В So present them with your reasoning and your side of the story so they can finally be at peace.В Only then can such a person let go of something. This might seem hard but take it this way: at least your partner is giving you a chance to explain yourself.В In anger, we often lose patience and never ask our partner their side of the story, so appreciate this quality in your partner.
3. THE ONE WHO WANTS AN APOLOGY
At times, all your partner needs is a simple apology.В They don’t want to make a point through a prolonged fight or a silent treatment, they just want to be apologised to for the mistake you have made.В Such people have big hearts and they just want to their partner to take the onus and tell them that they feel bad for doing something wrong and that they would not do it again.В A simple sorry can do wonders for you if your partner is this sort.
2. THE ONE WHO JUST WANTS A LITTLE LOVE AND APPRECIATION
Many partners compromise and even let go of the mistakes their partners do because it’s easier for them to forgive than to stay away from their partner or, basically, become distant.В All they want is to be appreciated for all those compromises.В Such partners, if upset, would even let things go if you hug them from behind and tell them that you won’t let go till they forgive you. They might scream and try to free them but if you hold on to them, maybe tickle them and make them laugh, they would forgive you and hug you back.Such people require your love the most and, to be honest, deserve it as well.В So may it be a goodnight kiss even after a fight or saying you love them, even though you two just had a long argument. Do it! That’s all you will need to keep your partner happy.
1. THE ONE WHO JUST WANTS TO FORGET ABOUT IT
A lot of people take out all their frustration and anger in the fight. It’s like a vomit, they can’t control themselves. They say everything that has been bothering them and the things you did wrong, which had hurt them but, once done, they don’t want to discuss it further. They don’t want an apology or a hug. All they want is to have a little alone time that will help them forget about it.В With such people, let them have a little alone time. Then start acting normal, the same way you held their hand or joked with them. This helps them forget about it.В And maybe when you feel they are comfortable and back to normal, say sorry in the most subtle and indirect way.В That’s what they require.
Nevertheless, there are millions of different kinds of people and everyone has their own way of patching up things. The key is to know your partner well and to give them what they need, not what you think is right for them.
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Out of these five scenarios, which one have you been in? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé