Many of us have the wrong impression about what our partner says and what he/she does is the yardstick to measure the growth of a relationship. The fact is that it all depends on you, how happy or content you are from it.
There are commonplace love problems which create skepticism in us about our relationships.The reality is that a number of these ordinary troubles are wholly normal. It all depends on becoming much more conscious of them and how to solve them. After that we will begin to comprehend our own potential to make ourselves happy, with regard to our relationship as well as our own self.
1. Marital Blahs
Weather has impacts on the mood of the people. In winter, less exposure to sunshine and continuous rain dragging on for many days may cause depression like symptoms. Some people keep framed pictures of flowers in their room or their desktop to remind them that the winter is temporary. Are you depressed with your married life? Is it stagnant? The feeling of love and closeness you shared with your partner is not there anymore. These married blahs can also be short-lived if we figure out how to identify and tackle them.
The psychological reason for not feeling enthusiastic is dependent on the human yearning for pleasure. A chemical in our body known as dopamine regulates our emotions, movements and our sense of pleasure and pain. When we are enthusiastic and very excited, dopamine is released and its decrease makes us gloomy and less enthusiastic.
The biggest dilemma is not to hold our partners responsible for the way we feel. Rather, we need to search for approaches to accept the naturally developing mundaneness of life and indulge ourselves in healthy activities such as going to a movie, reading a book, cooking dinner or gardening to bring vitality and glamour in our daily monotonous routine.
If depression clutches us for extended periods then it engulfs us. Several things can induce depression. Our phenotype, crises we go through in life and current relationship problems are some of them. Health problems can be detected by calculable lab tests. Whereas changes in our behavior like fatigue reduced sexual desire, sleepiness, sleep loss, stress, lower self confidence, frustration, pessimism and short temper determine depression.
In many cases, those fighting with depression are convinced that through will power and determination that they will defeat depression. Some who have little or no will power look for some sort of activity that will divert their mind from the feeling lack of meaning, purpose and loneliness. They take refuge in drugs, relentless workouts, alcohol, staying at work even after office hours and sex to temporarily get away from pain.
We readily declare our relationships imperfect. The reality is that all the relationships and marriages have weaknesses. We are human beings and flawlessness is unlikely, nor is it desired.
If we are dejected as persons, we just cannot declare our relationships as the trouble makers. Your relationship alone is not the reason behind your misery. How we interpret and evaluate our experiences, feelings, relationships and other things is the problem and it should be corrected.
Numerous researches show depression as a significant element in troubled marriages including life with an unhappy partner. This is especially so when we seek to solve or determine their problems. We highly lack sympathy for suffering and our capacity to tolerate is reduced. Just like he would go to a doctor for the treatment of any other ailment, a dejected person ought to get medical help for the detection and cure of depression.
Partners Cheat on each other. Cheating can be of many types. It ranges from ordinary blunders which make your partner feel neglected and abandoned, to more severe blunders like extramarital affairs which cause intense anguish. Not fulfilling your promises, lying about money to your partner, and intruding in their private matters which include snooping in their computer and reading their private diary are ordinary forms of cheating.
Cheating sexually is an exceedingly tough issue to deal with. At times, there is no other choice left for the partners than to get rid of their respective emotions of hurt, and have the courage, sincerity and love to mend and forgive. It is not going to be easy. Nevertheless, possibly the deepness of this decision reveals the reason why a number of the most robust couples I know of have emerged from highly grievous betrayals.
4. Lack of Association
Genetically, the very design of our brain makes it sociable. Various studies indicate that physical intimacy, a hug or a touch and participating in a loving relationship benefits us to live much longer, more healthier and content. This leaves us with the question just how can we control the anger and confrontation which are integrated in all relationships and thus prevent the lack of life-enhancing association.
The strategy would be to maintain our love account just like we handle our bank account, i.e. withdrawing less and depositing more. Regardless of what happens, pay attention, encourage, touch, say sorry, be thankful and surprise.
5. Nasty Temper
Depraved moods can affect your relationships. As per an ancient English saying, One day you are a peacock; the next day you’re a feather duster. Basically this means that one day you are on top of the world and the next day you are nothing. On the days when all is well, it is easy to act lovingly. It’s easy to keep the pledges we made with our partner. It is not difficult, actually enjoyable, to permit frustrations and failures and bursts of anger to go away and we quickly act to make amends.
When you are in a bad mood, none of this is easy. This is completely normal. The essential thing is that how we deal with the attacks of grumpiness. You need to ask yourself: How a nasty emotion affects my work performance? How do I behave with my colleagues and customers? Then ask Yourself, How I behave with my partner. I think that you make extra efforts not to show bad temper at your workplace, but at home you make little or no effort at all.
I you wish to develop faith and want your relationship to prosper, then even if you are feeling unhappy and distressed you should still show generosity and fulfil your promises. Your good behaviour should be unchanged too. Never forget, you are capable of making changes irrespective of whatever your partner is doing. After you switch your concentration from their behaviour to your own, you get tremendous ability to influence your relationship as well as your personal prosperity.
Talk To Me.
Did the weather have a bad effect on you which in turn created problems in your relationship? Did your partner ever cheat on you? Do you shout at your partner when you are depressed? Do you make your relationship stronger by hugging and kissing your partner? How do you cope with your nasty temper? Please share your experience for the benefit of others in the comments below. Thank you and STAY BLESSED.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé