A successful relationship is one in which both the partners can tell each other anything and everything. Relationships are built on trust and sincerity. Love and trust go side by side in a relationship. You can always love the person you trust, in the same way you cannot continue to love a person whom you don’t trust anymore.
When you withhold any facts and you keep them as secrets from your partner, you create a barrier between you and your partner. These secrets will affect your emotional and intimate relations with your partner to a greater extent.
1. Secrets Can Ruin Relationships
Secrets and lies can destroy relationships. No matter how careful and cautious you are, your lie will be caught some day. Secrets are bound to be exposed, one way or the other. So you can never be 100 % sure that your partner will not know about your secret. Secrets have very devastating impacts on relationships.
Even Small Secrets Can Create Problems In Relationships
Many of us do not realise the fact that secret is that we are hiding something from our partners, meaning we are not 100% truthful to them. At times, we have an opinion that there is no harm in keeping a small secret from your partner. Even if it is a small secret you can never gauge the damage it can create in your relationship. Once your partner will come to know about it, his / her trust will be broken which is irreparable.
Secrets Are The Enemies Of Trust
A secret is a secret, whether a small one or a big one. Secrets are the enemies of trust. Once your partner loses trust in you, your relationship is doomed to fail.
Trust is one of the most essential factors in a healthy relationship. If trust is broken, you can never enjoy the same level of intimacy in your relationship.
Such secrets are also known as supposed secrets. Putative secrets are those when you have a secret and you think that your partner isn’t aware of your secret. But in fact he or she already knows about your secret.
This is one of the most damaging kind of secret for relationships. When your partner already knows what you are trying to hide, this increases the friction and tension between both the partners. Your significant other is being constantly hurt by your lies and eventually grows apart from you.
When your partner is trying to hide something that you already knew, you will feel deceived and the feeling of mistrust will linger on at the back of your mind.
Everyone has a past. You may be involved with others before finding out the right person, who is your partner now. You are going through the phase of trust-building with your partner and you thought that you should tell them each and every detail about your past relationships. This is certainly not a good idea.
Building a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean sharing everything and certainly not sharing everything right away. You need to achieve a sure level of trust before declaring everything about yourself, your private family history, your emotional experiences etc. Once you and your partner are close enough where you share a comfort zone and a committed relationship then you can tell them about such secrets of your life.
2. Secrets Can Strengthen Relationships
There are some secrets that couples keep together. These are secrets that make their bonding more strong. Successful couples do share a lot of secrets, they keep these secrets together and reveal only to their partners. Such secrets make their connection more strong as a couple.
Secrets About Intimate Relationship
Almost every couple has some secrets of their personal intimate life. And of course none of them would like these secrets to be disclosed to others. They cherish these intimate secrets and such secrets make their relationship more strong.
Partners confide in each other, truths about their feelings, emotions, weaknesses, desires. In a successful relationship, both the partners keep the information about their significant other to themselves. They hold it close to their heart. Such secrets build strong bonds between partners and strengthen their relationship.
Couples Keeping Secrets From Family And Friends
There are some secrets that partners only confide within each other. For example, an expecting couple can keep a secret from family and friends about the gender of the baby. Or couples can keep a secret about their financial crisis from their family and try to act as if everything is going smooth. These secrets make their bonding stronger than ever before.
Do you share any secrets with your partner?
How will you react if you find out about your partner’s secrets?
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé